Maybe there is a God !?!

And what has me reconsidering my entire existence as an Athiest you ask?? ....It's simple really......ABC Cancelled that piece of crap rip off "The One" !!!!.....thats right...someone heard my plea and said... IF THE JESTER DON"T LIKE IT.... IT AIN"T NO GOOD!!!! ..... so the good news is ... is if there is a God... he does my bidding (insert evil laugh here)

But I wonder what George Stromjackassopoulos is gonna do now?? so much for his new main stream career ... back to VH1 or MuchMuscrap or whereve the hell he can get a job .... they are also reconsidering running a canadian version of the show.. sweeet.... just show the British one dammit ....its the only good version out there... Azzholes !!!!

The One......What a pissappointment......

Ok so I watched the season premiere of the "new" show called "The One" tonight which really isn't a new show it all, it's a rip off of a show from the UK that I loved called "Fame Academy".... and.....like most shows the idiot American's try to steal from the UK.... it was a complete pissappointment.....what is a pissappointment you ask???? ... It's when something is so completely disappointing that it pisses you off !!!!!!!!!!!

So almost all the singers were shit except maybe one or two and they were the only ones the judges criticized...deaf feckers!!....The One is just next in line in crap UK remakes (Big Brother excepted of course)...... Americans fecked up "The Office"...they have plans on fecking up "Father Ted"....they ripped off "Pop Idol"... and now have fecked up Fame Academy....George Stronassholeopoulos as a host ???? Why not force feed sleeping pills to the audience first ... same fecking thing (Sorry Rhi but he's a boring gobshite)....Gawd Damn Americans can piss me off !!!!!!

The wife tried to poison me !!!

Ok .... so have you ever been in so much pain that the sheer intensity of it made you throw up? Well I hadn't either until yesterday........

So it goes like this.... I work pretty late ... get home around 1:30 in the morning.... the wife has a real job so she was home all evening and cooked me dinner and put it in the fridge.....so when I get home there is a nice plate of ribs and fried rice waiting right? .....well.......kinda........so I heat it up and eat it....yum yum ....... then off to bed.......

ok so now its 6 am and I am in the bathroom suffering from the most severe stomach pains I have ever felt.......but nothing is happening if ya know what I mean......so I am sitting on the crapper not crapping and the pain is excrutiating....so much so that I throw up in the bathtub.....so at this point I realize I have a decision to make..... its either off to the hospital or try and tough it out and see what happens....well as luck would have it Jesters don't like hospitals so toughing it out is the decision made......so back to bed I go ....for ohhhh about 5 minutes.... then I am back in the bathroom puking left and right !!!!.......

So here I am 2 days later.... stomach still hurts .....not near as bad ..... stopped puking though....must have puked the bad stuff out.....pulled a muscle in my sternum too .... from the puking of course....the only comfort I have is knowing the same thing happened to the wife about 7 hours after me... not as bad as mine but similiar.... why is that a comfort you ask? .......because at least now I know she didn't poison me on purpose so I don't have to sleep with one eye open !

McGrease Burger with Cheese

Ok so yesterday I was running a little late for work and couldn't grab a bite before I left so I figure .... what the hell I will hit the drive thru......I order a double cheeseburger from McD's .......

It was the fecking most disgusting thing I ever saw...it was like they dipped in the grease bucket before wrappin it up.... I didn't even attempt to take a bite... just threw it back in the bag and swore all the fecking way to work because of course I couldn't turn around to complain cause if I do I am late for work .... DAMN IT !!!!!

And now that I have been talking about McD's I could go for a burger and fries right about now... I truly am a sick bastard !

The drive in is cool

Ok so I have decided there is no better way to watch a movie then going to the drive in... I think I am addicted....I feckin love it....sitting in the bucket seats of your own car is way more comfortable then stupid theatre seating.... and the food.... although expensive ...kicks ass !!! Not to mention you get to see 2 or more movies for the same price you would pay at the theatre and if you wanna get down and dirty with yer best girl you can crawl in the back seat......................of course I don't because I am married and screw that I am watching a movie.... we can do that when we get home ! So now that I consider myself a bit of an expert on drive in viewing here are some tips for the novices....

1....Bring bug spray .... you will want yer windows open as it gets hot in the car in the summer

2....bring pillows.....once you recline yer seats you need to prop your head or you get a stiff neck

3.... bring something to do until the movies starts... you can be there for an hour and a half before it gets dark enough for the first movie to start (we bring cards and play crazy 8's)

4....dusk til dawn movie's sound like a great idea but actually suck !!!!! ... 3 movies is the max you want to sign on for

5....bring something to keep you cool.... we bring a spray bottle of cold water and keep it in a small cooler with those things you freeze you keep coolers cold... trust me it can get warm...

6... bring a blanket... after 1am it starts to get cool.... I never want one but the wife gets cold

and finally...

7.....if yer not married bring condoms......... always wear a rain coat .... its just safer !!!!

SO there you have it .... there are 2 drive ins within driving range of the durham area.... there is one in Port Hope and another in Lindsay http://www.lindsaydrivein.com/ .... try it and let me know how it works out for you !!!! ... and if you dont like it FECK OFF