I found my Joaquin

Ok so I found my Joaquin.........Anna Faris!!!!!!!!.......This is the woman I would leave my wife for !!!!!!.... I dunno why exactly.....maybe its because in all her movies she plays a crazy biatch and I tend to be attracted to crazy....I like crazy... crazy is sexy!!! I also have an unholy attraction to Natasha Lyonne who is not really all that attractive... but damn crazy ... mmmmm crazy.......and lets face it I myself am a few fries short of a happy meal ..... Oh if you only knew the real me!

Anyway back to more important things... Anna Faris.....if you are saying to yourself.. WHo the F is Anna Faris......she is the girl that plays the role of Cindy in the "Scary Movie" series. She was also in "Just Friends" and "Waiting" with Ryan Reynolds. Both movies she plays a bit of a crazy biatch....love her. I don't usually like the skinny girls but she is crazy enough to make me want to throw her around a little.... she is married to some guy named Ben but I don't care... I forgive her.....

Am I metrosexual ?!?

Ok.... So I am at work right, near the end of my piece of shite shift and I have a list of all the DVD's I own up, and Rhi walks by and says "13 going on 30?? You actually own that!!!....well ... yes I do. Now thinking about it I realize its not Oscar material but I kinda liked it...then I thought about other movies I like...now its true I like the typical guy action stuff, horror all that ... but then sprinkled in are some WHAT THE F!@%$ material. The one that springs to mind is Moulon Rouge... I hate to actually admit in somewhere where even 1 person might read this but I loved the movie Moulon Rouge and yes, it is in the collection. So apparently I now must ask.... does that sound gay? I mean I am not homophobic or any of that and no offense to gay people but .... sure sounds gay to me... yet I love it. I could lie and say its cause Nicole Kidman is so hot bla bla bla but truth is other then this movie I don't think she is that hot, this stems from me being short and not liking girls over 6 ft but still. Truth is ... I like the music... thats right, I like the music from moulon rouge, yup just one step away from show tunes....

so the question is ... AM I METROSEXUAL??? ... ( if you find metrosexuals hot then I am ok with it otherwise......bollox)

keep in mind the previous post before answering as there is at least a little pork in the piglet

Tony Danza !!!!!

Ok a tad disgusting but funny as hell I heard this one last night from Mr Peacock. What is a Tony Danza? That was the question ... and the answer? During the act of ... "making love"... from the rear position....as the man is about to hit the pinnacle .... he shouts out " WHO's THE BOSS?"....when the woman replies "what?!?" ... the man pulls out and enters the forbidden oriface, punches her in the back of the head and yells "TONY DANZA".

Now after doing some research on the subject, (yes i researched it, I am here to educate not to spread perversions), I have learned some valuable information, the act is also known as "The Donkey Punch" (without the Tony Danza yelling of course) and the idea is to punch her hard enough to cause her to lose conciousness thus causing a tighting of the sphinctor muscle and a wonderful sensation... well for the man anyway... the girl's only sensation is the concussion and headache when she wakes up.

So there you go ... you learn something stupid everyday !

What am I doing?

Ok ... so a BLOG huh? Why am I creating a BLOG? I dunno..... Who will look at it?...I dunno.... Why will they care to look at it? ... damned if I know..... But I have a whole hell of a lot of useless time on my hands lately so why not.....I can tend to be screwed up in the head a bit right? ... So why not write it down somewhere......all the cool kids seem to be doing it.... so here I am following the crowd like a true original.....a pioneer.... a man that says " I WILL DO WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY ARE DOING IT !!! " noone follows a crowd anymore .... so by doing what everyone else is doing simply because they are doing it makes me truly unique... don't ya think?

Oh and by the way .... Welcome to my BLOG